Saying Yes

Last weekend I went to Ocean Shores with my husband, who was hired to do a drum circle for participants in a motorcycle rally, the Harley Davidson Surf and Sun Run. As we drove south and west we saw more and more motorcycles. Black leather vests and chaps, hair sheaths, tattoos. Shortly after we got there, we went to a place for pizza. The two couples that were sitting together in the back room where we went might not have been part of the rally, but they were sympathetic to it. One woman referred to the rush she got from feeling the rumble of the motors. What they said to us was, “Are you sure you want to be in this room with us? There are twelve of us, and the kids greatly outnumber the grown-ups.”

I was sure I did. This was the room where you could see the sky, and besides, I found myself looking forward to the experience of sharing the room with this group. I soon discerned that most of the kids were occupied in the video arcade room. The little ones, aged maybe 4-7, kept coming back in a steady trickle for quarters, which several of the adults were benevolently dispensing. Then they were ordering pizza, and pop by the pitcherfull. Though soda pop and video games would not have topped my list as things that were wholesome for kids, my sense here was that they would do no harm. I felt that whatever the items were, the substantial thing was the saying yes. I could feel those yeses going deep into the being of those kids, giving them depth and confidence, providing a foundation from which they could grow tall and strong. Later there was an incident in which one of the kids had to be disciplined. The discipline was measured, loving, and offered a clear path back to acceptance in the group, with hugs all around.

It was a new clarification of substance for me. In my efforts to be a good mom, I have tried to steer my kids towards what’s good. Here I saw a clear indication that in steering kids towards what I think is good in terms of activities and things to consume, I might be missing the key point – the need to say yes to their being, regardless of the material trappings. Just as my whole being said yes to this group of families at the pizza place, just as it said yes to all the black-leather clad people at the Harley Davidson rally, I began to feel that my whole purpose, with all my interactions, must be to say yes.

I was telling this story to my sister, and she said that she and her daughter had been talking about the same thing. She said saying no was like trying to back up over the spikes at the rental car place. It doesn’t achieve what you want – you have to go around another way. Her daughter corroborated by pointing out that in improv theater, one of the cardinal rules is that you can’t say no. You always say yes to whatever idea someone else presents, and then you can try to turn it in whatever way comes to mind.

Three of my entries in this blog so far have had titles beginning with “Christ says yes.” It makes sense to me that, in following Christ, I find more and more ways in my own life to do the same.